Wedding Planners; or A Little Rant

BCB suggested the other day, that as we start signing contracts and collecting Pieces of Paper That Really Shouldn't Be Lost that we might want to start a file for wedding stuff. Excellent, says I. I'll go looking for a wedding planner today. Here is what I discovered:

i) Many planners have a picture of a bride, holding a bouquet, with her head and feet chopped off. The groom does not get a look-in;
ii) Some refer to to the unattainable 'perfect day';
iii) They only use the singular - 'your day', or 'my wedding';
iv) Even the allegedly 'progressive' planners refer only to the bride;
v) occasionally you will accidentally pick up something you think is a planner, only to discover that it is in fact a bride's 'journal', with places for photos and personal reflection. Something like a baby book, except the focus is a single day of celebration, rather than a living, growing thing;
vi) Those planners that have non-offensive covers and that do not imply only a bride's involvement are invariably far larger than an ordinary ringbinder. They are simply huge portfolios to be lugged from appointment to appointment.

Conclusion? I splashed on a nice blue ringbinder from Kikki K, wrote 'Gettin' Hitched' down the spine, and chucked some rainbow file dividers inside. Done.

All I want for (my last pre-wedding) Christmas

is Judith Martin's newest tome. Unfortunately, it isn't out until the end of March. I have pre-ordered mine, though. I was introduced to Miss Manners via A Practical Wedding. If you haven't yet experienced the dry, cutting, yet eminently (and, sadly, refreshingly) sensible advice of this ettiquette doyenne, you can read a little piece on her opinion of weddings here at Utah Bride, some reassuring words over here at A Practical Wedding, and a fairly droll recounting of her own wedding here.

Hell has chair covers and ice sculptures, or The Value of Bridal Fairs

I went to a Bridal Lair-I-mean-Fair last weekend. I went because my mother was dying to go, and I was mildly curious. On the whole, it was fairly depressing. I came out particularly uninspired with bridal fashion and invitations. I dodged flyers from forceful videographers.

BUT it was not an entire loss. I discovered that wedding cars are much, much cheaper than I thought they'd be, and that if BCB wanted, we probably could get a couplea vintage Mustangs or Cadillacs (turns out BCB doesn't want).

I had an awesome chat with a cake-maker (baker? Cake vendor? I dunno). Frankly, within reason, I don't care what her prices are. She's fun (everyone in her booth had bouffant hair, New Look dresses and lace gloves), she's friendly, she's young, she gave me cake samples, and you'll hear more about her later.

If you needed a celebrant, it would be a great place to quickly meet and greet a whole bunch.

So, in all, better than I thought, (but I don't think I need to do another).

I had lunch with a friend on the weekend, and tentatively (mostly because I don't know for sure exactly what we want by way of ceremony yet) whether she might want to sing a Shaker hymn at the wedding. The other 'tentatively' is that she is a trained opera singer, and sometimes has an understandable reluctance to force herself into another style.

"Sure," she said. "I'll find a nice one, if that's what you want. Otherwise, I know a really nice opera piece from [insert name of opera I've not heard of and promptly forgot] that's for a cello and two voices. M* can do the cello part, and my friend V will do the other vocals. She'll do them for free because she's my friend and I'll make her."

"Oh," said I, pushing my luck, "I'm also thinking of doing the flowers myself, but I'll need someone to drive them, and probably other stuff, to the reception venue on the day.
"Done," said my friend.
"Seriously dude, I meant to tell you, whatever you need me to do, I'll do it."**

I love my friends.

* M is another of my oldest friends, and a performance cellist and performance artist. Why, yes, I am the least creative one in my circle, since you ask.
** The only concession my friend asked for was that she not be made to wear black and white performance clothes, and instead be allowed to wear her own choice. Um, not even a concession. So a requirement.

Dressing to impress

I've had a few people ask me, since I've gotten engaged, whether I will be wearing white. I'm not quite sure whether they are asking if I'm wearing white as opposed to ivory or latte or champagne or ecru, out of concern that white mightn't be the best shade against my skin (that kind of stark pale normally reserved for redheads and Christina Ricci). They also might be asking on the basis that as they see me as a Wild and Crazy Individual, it is entirely likely that I will buck this tradition and wear purple or something. I kind of hope their question is not motivated by the thought that BCB and I have been living in sin for a couple of years now, and thus I have no claim to white.

Because I do want to wear white (or ivory or latte or champagne or ecru). It's not a colour I wear in my everyday life (excepting one white blouse, and one cream t-shirt with a skull on it). So to me it feels like a special shade, reserved for weddings.

When it comes to style, however, I'm not so sure. While I haven't tried any on yet, long wedding dresses have kind of been leaving me cold. Right now, I'm kind of attached to the idea of a short dress. Like, a really short dress. A mini-dress, like the Jamie at A Desert Fete wore. I love mini-dresses, and I wear them a lot. But so rarely does a gal get to wear an ankle-length gown these days that I'm worried I'll regret passing up the opportunity.

I mentioned to my mother than I was thinking of getting a short dress. "That's wonderful!" she said (to my surprise), "I wore a short dress to my wedding!" That's sort of true. She wore a tea-length gown that my grandmother had made in the 1950s.* I decided not to tell her yet that my definition of short involves visible knees, and a fair chunk of visible thigh too...

* My mum, rockin' vintage before it was fashionable, in 1984. It was a white cotton gown with puffy sleeves and a zig-zagging hem.

Oh Happy Day!

In the mail the other day we got an invite to BCB's cousin's engagement party. Quite the surprise, as BCB's cousin and his partner have been together for, well, ages, and neither of us expected them to be the marrying kind, after all that time.

A quick call to BCB's mother established that, in fact, the cousin proposed on 27 December - the same day BCB proposed to me! Which also explains why the cousin and his fiancee were absent from the family shindig that went hand-in-hand with my proposal! (I had wondered why they weren't there, and no-one was able to explain it to us).

How really, really lovely.

Why here? Why now?

I'm not a bridezilla. I swear I'm not. I asked my bridesmaid to slap me if I showed a hint of bridezilla.* So why the wedding blog? Well, there's some freakin' awesome wedding blogs floating about on the Interwebs. A Practical Wedding. East Side Bride. Snippet & Ink. Peonies & Polaroids. They showed me that a wedding needn't be a paint-by-numbers, or a pick'n'mix of bog-standard wedding vendor offerings.

But all these fabulous brides are halfway round the world from me. From where I live, and will be getting hitched. In the most isolated capital city in the world. Perth, Western Australia. It is a proven fact, that quaint barns and organic farms willing to host a wedding are in short supply here.** I've been finding it hard to find vendors and ideas that would translate to the South-West corner of WA. The fabulous Emmiebe at West Aussie Wedding (being not only of a person of excellent taste, but also the only Perth person I can find with a wedding blog aimed at people beyond the ceremony guestlist) has had some great finds and tips. And I thought that if she could share, so could I.

So here's to a year or so inspiring the fiances and fiancees of Dullsville to something a little different.***

PS: And the blog name? Black Swans are the State Bird of Western Australia. Nice, huh?

* My bridesmaid (The Only Bridesmaid) said "Nah, man. You go crazy. Because one day I will hopefully be a bride too, and I know that I will go power-crazy and demand complete and utter obedience from you. So you might as well take advantage of me in the same way."

** Though to be honest I haven't actually asked Highvale Biodynamic Orchard. Maybe they could sort something out for a really keen couple.

*** I do still reserve my right to stress over napkin colours, hire a limo and buy a dress from HobNob if, after looking at all my options, that's what I really want to do.